Life As a Little Sister

 Hi everyone! I'm in the process of writing about my memories and experiences as a child ... the good, the bad, and the ugly of it... so I guess that means I have to tell on myself every once in awhile too . We had a lot of fun growing up together and always get a good laugh out of our crazy antics as children so I thought it would be fun to share some of those stories- from my perspective as the little sister. My older brother and I played a lot but fought a lot too. He seemed to enjoy talking me into things, frightening me, and wrestling with me. My sister and I didn't fight quite as often because of our age difference, but as she can tell you, sharing a bedroom with your kid sister brings it's own set of problems...  Here's part two of My Life As a Little Sister.

   My sister and I are great friends now but I have to admit that I wasn't always the best little sister. We shared a room and though we had a good relationship, let's face it, little sister's can be kind of bratty. I followed her around, spied on her if possible, and occasionally snooped through her things

   For instance, when she was fifteen or sixteen and I was about nine years old, she would often sit on our bed and write in her diary. If I asked what she was writing, she'd say, "None of your business" or "Stop being a pest!" (You know, the kinds of things that little sisters get told on a daily basis). When I tried peeking over her shoulder, she would snap it shut and lock it up with a little key that she kept hidden. Once or twice I caught a glimpse of a few words written on the first few pages.

 "Keep out!" and "Private!" it said in big letters. 

What in the world did she write in that little book, and why wouldn't she let me see? It had to be something good I thought. Why else would it be under lock and key? Who knew what kind of secrets or information that little book held?

   Finally I could take it no more, and when I couldn't find the key, I found Mama's scissors and cut the thin little strap that kept it secure. I quickly opened it up and the first thing I read was "Went to Grandma's and ate beans."  No kidding! That's what it said. The rest of the pages said things like "Twila loves Britt" and "Dreaming of Britt", but it contained nothing very exciting to my nine year old mind. I couldn't figure why this had been such a big deal. Heck, I'd ate beans at Grandma's house and everyone knew that she and Britt liked each other. He was a big ol' country boy that lived near my grandparent's house and whenever we visited, they would sneak off to the horse barn and kiss. I knew this because 1) I spied on them and 2) Mom would send me to go look for them every so often and report back to her.

   I quickly flipped through more pages covered in hearts as I kept a close eye on the bedroom door. Within a matter of minutes I heard feet in the hallway and I hurried to put it away before I was caught red-handed. As I moved toward the dresser to put it back in her drawer, I suddenly realized something! I had cut the strap and now there was no possible way to lock it back up! When she opened the drawer and saw it, she'd know what I'd done! She'd tell Mom, and I'd be getting the belt again.Thinking quickly, I knew I had to hide the evidence. I ran and threw it where no one would ever find it.... under my parent's bed.

   I've since come to the conclusion that I was in panic mode because I knew full well that my mom was a fanatic about cleaning! Every few Saturdays, we had to scrub the grout in the bathroom with bleach and a toothbrush for goodness sake! Of course, Mom found the diary two days later when she dust-mopped her room and I got that spanking because not only had I invaded Twila's privacy; I'd also been denying having anything to do with the diary's disappearance. 

      This incident, however, pales in comparison to the night my sister came home drunk. A year or two after the diary episode,  I was awakened one night by bumping noises and the sound of loud voices in our hall. The hallway light was on and shined brightly into my bedroom, blinding me as I strained to see what was going on. The clock said 1:20 AM, a whole hour and twenty minutes past my sister's curfew, and she was not in bed beside me. This, along with the tone of my mother's voice, told me something big was going on and that someone was in big trouble. Naturally, I sat up to to spy...er ...see what was happening.

     My mom stood in the hallway in her fuzzy orange robe with a scowl on her face and both hands propped angrily on her hips. My sister stood a few feet in front of her in a blue dress that looked as if she had spilled something down the front of it. Her arms were wrapped across her stomach and  her high heels dangled loosely in one hand as she swayed back and forth, looking as if she might fall down at any moment. She had gone to her first wedding reception and my mom was livid that she'd stumbled/crawled to our front door throwing up and undeniably as drunk as a skunk.

    Oh my! This was something I'd never seen before!  I quietly scooted to the end of the bed to get a better look. To my amazement, Twila seemed to be taking Mom's lecture in stride, listening with a silly expression, almost a smile, on her face at times. As she wobbled and bumped against the wall, she tried to deny the state she was in, but I could barely make out her words as she slurred everything she tried to say. 

   "I'm ... not...druuunnkk..." 
   
   "Get to bed now!" Mom said, raising her arm and gesturing toward our room.. "You're so drunk you can't even stand up. We'll talk in the morning."

  I quickly flopped back in bed, pretending to be asleep as Twila stumbled around the room and finally got herself into bed. Just as she lay down beside me, a strong repugnant odor of cigarette smoke, beer, and vomit hit my face.

   "You stink," I said and pinched my nose shut for emphasis.

   "Just go to sleep" she slurred and the smell of her breath hit my face again.

   "I can't," I said. "You smell gross!"

    I tried, honestly I did. I turned and faced the other way, but the smell of puke and alcohol was overwhelmingly strong and the fact that I'd been rudely woken up in the middle of the night irritated me.

   "Get up!" I said a little louder this time. "You need to brush your teeth!"

    Her eyes fluttered open for a second as she lifted her head dizzily from the pillow. "Ssshhh, be quiet before Mom hears you," she pleaded.

   "But you stink!" I reiterated.

    She moaned something unintelligible as she shifted in bed and her movement stirred the air again, causing the foul smell to assault my nostrils even more. 

   Maybe it was because the smell really was that terrible. Maybe it was because I was the baby of the family and thought it my duty to report any and all infractions. OK, perhaps it even had something to do with the fact that had recently developed the bad habit of squeezing into my best t-shirts which stretched them out on the top and left them to sag pathetically on my undeveloped form. Whatever the reason that night, I was undeterred.

   "Mom!" I called out. "She reeks! I can't even sleep because she smells like throw-up and beer! It's making me sick! She...she..smells like a brewery!" I proclaimed loudly, secretly pleased that I'd come up with that last phrase. I had no idea what it meant, but I'd heard my mom and grandma use that a few times when discussing someone who was drunk and knew it would get a response.

   It did.

 "Twila Annette, get up!" Mom shouted from her room. 

   And then she announced the dreaded punishment... the one that sent shivers down our spine...the one that we avoided at all cost, especially since Twila had recently seen "The Exorcist" and then told me all about it.  

   "Go sleep in the basement tonight!" Mom ordered. "You shouldn't have been drinking and she shouldn't have to smell your whiskey breath and puke!"
   I hadn't expected that one and for a moment I regretted calling out to Mom and having her relegated to the damp, scary basement. She shot me a look that could kill as she clumsily climbed out of bed and stumbled down the hall toward the basement, taking the horrid smell with her. 

   Luckily for her, I don't think even a demon would have touched her that night and she survived, though she did look a little like death warmed over the next morning. I know this because 1) Mom sent me to wake her bright and early for breakfast and 2) I happily complied. After all, what are little sisters for?   

  

                        Thanks for visiting my blog today. I hope you had as much fun with your brother and sister as I did growing up. Thank goodness, there were plenty of good times too and they forgive me (I hope!) for being such a brat at times. 
Here's a pic of us having fun on the couch.

See you next blog!

IT'S A WRAP

What a great experience and joy to work with all of these women at the LTYM St. Louis show! 

I made it through two shows without passing out on stage (and believe me, that was a real possibility...lol) AND walked away with a ton of memories and 14 wonderful new friends. 

I can't wait to continue our friendships and see what else the future holds! 

Thanks to LTYM;  the talented producers; and to each and every one of you who came out to laugh, cry, and share a little bit of our life. 

I know there are a lot more moms out there with their own special story and I'd like to encourage you to write them down and submit for next year! If I can do it, so can you! 

For more information go to:

www.listentoyourmother.com

Facing the Fear of Public Speaking  

 I enjoy writing stories about my childhood and anyone reading them might think that I - being the youngest child with a ready made audience - never got nervous at being the center of attention. This was somewhat true... in family situations.

See what I mean?

   Outside of my home /in public, however, it was a different story. I was a very quiet and shy little girl that hid behind my long hair and poncho. 

   I did well in school and had friends, but if forced to speak in front of the class, I turned into a bowl of jello. Book reports were a nightmare! It wasn't that I wasn't prepared; I usually did a good job on my assignments, but standing in front of the class while everyone looked at me and listened to my words made me queasy.  As I sat at my desk waiting for my turn, I'd feel sick to my stomach. When the teacher called my name, my heart would begin to pound and race inside my chest. Once I reached the front of the class, it was even worse. My face flushed and burned from embarrassment as I struggled to read the words from the paper that shook noticeably in my hands. It was such a sense of relief to get to the end of the report and make my way back to my seat. I'd take a few deep breaths and feel my heart slowly begin to return to normal. No matter how many times I did this, the sense of dread and nervousness came each and every time. I still battle it today.

   I don't know what it is about public speaking that makes so many of us so nervous. I think part of it is that we worry too much what other people think. I don't want to look stupid. I don't want to sound stupid. I want them to like me! If you suffer from any sense of low self-esteem, those fears are multiplied. The truth is, we are our own harshest critics and many times magnify our own flaws or mistakes when others barely notice them. 

   Over time, I have gradually gotten a little braver at speaking in front of others and thought I would share some of the things that have helped me. Actually, I'm writing this to remind myself of these things too because I cannot believe that I submitted a story to Listen To Your Mother. Even more, I can't believe that I was selected to audition my story and then invited to be a part of the cast! (Is that my heart I feel racing?!) 

   I am beyond excited to be a part of their production which gives moms all over the country a voice. I've never had the pleasure of being in the audience, but I have watched several of the speakers on YouTube and I'm honored to be able to tell my story at the St Louis production in May.

   Here's the glitch... I don't want to look stupid. I don't want to sound stupid. I want them to like me!   :-) 

   Seriously, I feel the nervousness creeping up, but I am psyching myself up for this neat opportunity! For those of you, who like me, still get butterflies in their stomach just thinking about speaking in front of an audience, here are some things I've read that can helpful.

1) Remember that the people in your audience are human just like you. As my grandma used to say,  "They put their pants on just like you do- one leg at a time."  If you make a mistake or stutter over a word, they aren't going to stone you. In fact, since many people get nervous at public speaking, they will probably smile understandably... if they even notice. 

2) Accept the fact that some will like your presentation, while some may not. Who cares? Do the best you can do and remember that's just how life is. As we all know, everyone is different and you can't please all the people all the time. Just be yourself and remember that what you have to say matters. Besides, unless someone forced them in the door, your audience is there because they really are interested in what you have to say. 

3) Try to think of it as a one on one conversation and not as a performance. I've found it helpful to focus on two or three people in the audience who seem to be involved. Looking out into a large room of faces as they look at you expectantly can feel very overwhelming, but when you think of it as speaking to a few individuals, it becomes less stressful.

4) Practice, practice, practice. Know your subject and become very familiar with your presentation. Read it out loud until it flows easily. Practice it in front of family members or friends. The more you know your material, the more confident you will feel.  

5)  Get a good nights sleep. Eat a healthy breakfast that morning even if you aren't hungry. Protein is best because carbs will give you a good burst of energy but then wear off quickly and you want to feel alert, not drained for your presentation.

Finally, to be quite honest and personal, there is one more thing I've found that helps boost my courage.

6) Look outside of yourself and your abilities for confidence. It took me fifty years and a very kind friend to help me realize that I can't base my worth on how I look, how I talk, or how well I do something. My self-worth cannot be determined by the opinion of others or the value that someone else places on me. My worth is found in God who created me to be unique and in who I am in Christ.

   I hope that these tips might be helpful for you. I'll let you know how they work for me!  :)  Two weeks until I take the stage for Listen To Your Mother!

 
 

APRIL FOOLS DAY FUN

It's that time of year again.. Spring has arrived and along with it, the national holiday for misbehaving. We have a lot of fun with it in our house, and I'll miss my boys this year. Jesse has his own apartment now and John is away at college so I won't feel the need to be looking over my shoulder, but I can't help thinking of some of our past April Fools Days and chuckling to myself.

For instance, two years ago I ran across a website dedicated to practical jokes and clicked it,  eagerly looking for the perfect prank to play on my sons.  Why, you might ask, would a loving mother want to do such a thing? 

  

1)      To pay them back for the MANY times I’ve been soaked by the spray nozzle at our kitchen sink because of a rubber band wrapped around the handle.

2)      Because they loved to sneak up behind me on a daily basis and shout or whisper some seemingly innocent phrase that made me jump, scream, and sometimes throw things in the air.
(Not to mention the times they waited just outside the bathroom door or hid in the dark laundry room to scare me when I came in from the garage).


3) Because they turn into comediennes each time I attempt to take a picture of OR with them.
See photo below.

4)    Finally, because they found it hysterical to place a life size cardboard cut-out of a storm trooper all around our house- particularly right behind doors, in order to startle me senseless.
It worked.
So did finding it behind the shower curtain, in the laundry room, and the many other unexpected places it appeared.

 Unfortunately, I have to admit, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. I've always enjoyed a good practical joke so I was thrilled to find the website with so many great ideas. Some I'd seen before...like putting plastic wrap underneath the seat of the toilet, but really, who wants to clean up that mess?  A little baby powder in the blow-dryer? Funny, but another potential mess and who knew if they'd even use it that day? 

  When I saw that someone had suggested scraping off some of the icing in the center of Oreo cookies and replacing it with toothpaste, I knew I’d found the one.  

We even had some already in the pantry! It went off without a hitch and I got to enjoy the astonished look on their faces when they tasted the cookies I lovingly offered them after school. 

Yep, love is the glue that binds a family together… even the sadistic kind of love that fills our home with laughter - particularly on April Fool’s Day.  I've always heard that laughter is the best medicine and if it's true, then I'll take a double dose because I wouldn't trade these memories for anything.

  The page I used has expired, but if you’re looking for a good prank or practical joke to play yourself, here are a couple of links to get you started. 

Family Friendly Pranks

17 Easy Pranks

You can find many more with just a quick google search, but hurry, time's almost up! :)

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER

Giving Mother's a Microphone! 

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER features live readings by local writers on the beauty, the beast, and the barely-rested of motherhood, in staged community shows celebrating Mother's Day. All shows are recorded and shared on the LTYMShow Youtube channel boasting a catalog of nearly 1500 diverse sories of motherhood (daugher/son/father/grandparent,etc). 

Born of the creative work of mothers who publish on-line, each production is directed, produced, and performed by local communities, for local communities. - from www.listentoyourmothershow.com.

I am excited to share that I have been selected to be in the St Louis production of Listen To Your Mother! I submitted a story last year but did not make it, so I thought I'd give it another shot this year with a story of what it means to be "A Real Mom". I was thrilled (and surprised!) when I received an email inviting me to share my story on stage this year on Mother's Day Weekend. A family illness prevented me from attending the show last year, but I did go over to Youtube and watched many of the speakers from numerous cities. Their stories were sweet, funny, heart-breaking, and inspiring.... each special in it's own way. If you've never seen them, click on the link above. I know you'll find something that will remind you of your own mother or yourself and will tug at your heart strings. I can't wait to hear the stories this year and though I'm super nervous, I'm looking forward to working with the others and sharing my own personal story. 

I've heard that tickets go fast, so I will post the info on here as soon as it's available. If you're looking for something fun to do this Mother's Day weekend, why not come out Saturday, May 7th and share the day with us? 

Here's a picture of me with my own mom and sister... striking a silly pose after Christmas Dinner.

Empty Nest, Full Life

   This past year has flown by and I can't believe that it's been so long since I've posted anything. Between keeping up with my baby sign language/sensory classes, caring for my elderly parents, and muddling through empty nest syndrome, I've had my hands full. My mind (and body) have been going in so many directions, I've found little time to sit down and write. Now however, I've got my business off to a good start, my parents are a little more stable, and I've figured out that life is actually not so bad once the kids move out. :)  So, along with a few painting classes here and there, I've decided to make writing a part of my day again. 

   Today I thought I'd share this image that made me chuckle.  

I don't have a cat and I haven't gone quite this far...lol... but here's a recent pic of my dog, Buddy who is on the recliner with me and just happens to be sporting a new red scarf. 

In the Presence of My Enemies

 

Not too many years ago, I remember following a story in the news about several people, including a missionary couple in the Philippines that had been abducted and held hostage by the Islamic terrorist group, Abu Sayyaf. They were forced to march through jungles for over a year, sometimes without eating for days, in order to evade the Philippine army as the terrorists tried to extort their release for ransom. Throughout the ordeal, Martin and Gracia Burnham, relied upon their faith, even praying for their captors. I always found their story compelling and inspiring and was excited to find that she was the guest speaker at church this last Sunday. After hearing her story and considering the ordeal that she went through (including the death of her husband during her rescue), I am amazed at the peace God can bring and the way that He can turn even the worst circumstances into something good. If you have not read her book, In The Presence of My Enemies, I would highly recommend this story of courage and faith.

Book Launch Party

                                                   

NYMB On Being a Mom and NYMB On Family are the newest releases from the NYMB series from Publishing Syndicate and I was excited to be a part of the book launch/ book-signing party this past Tuesday evening. What a fun event put together by editors Linda O'Connell and Dianna Graveman , as well as Robin Moore Theiss of STL Books in Kirkwood, MO! 

There were door prize drawings, cute corsages for the contributors, 

and drinks and refreshments for all.

I especially enjoyed hearing some of the contributors read their stories aloud to the crowd. 

The humorous presentations made them even more funny and entertaining.

One more thing made the evening a great success. 10% of all sales was donated to a worthy cause, The Family Resource Center.  

Thank you to everyone who came out and to those who planned the event.
It was a great night to meet more of the talented writers in the St. Louis area, catch up and celebrate with friends, and see some of the Kirkwood area. 

My Life As A Little Sister

(Jesse)

Hello everyone!

I haven't done very well keeping up with blog posts lately. It's been a crazy couple of months with two sons graduating this year. 

(So proud of them both!)

My oldest son, Jesse, graduated college and has moved back home for a few months to save up for an apartment. 

                                                                                                              

(John)

My youngest son, John, graduated high school just a week later.
We've been busy with registration, orientation, housing, etc... all things that require lots of forms, time, and prodding when you have a procrastinating teenager who is also busy with a part-time job. :)

So in order to get something out on the blog, I am posting a short excerpt of a project I have been working on called My Life As a Little Sister.

I hope you enjoy it! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My Life As A Little Sister

   I am the baby of my family and shared a bedroom with my older sister, Twila, from the time I was born until she married at the age of 20. She is almost seven years older and looking back, I can't help but feel a twinge of pity for her, because I now realize that I was the little sister that nightmares are made of.

   Case in point.... when she turned sixteen, my aunt and uncle gave her a beautiful sweet sixteen corsage with sixteen sugar cubes wrapped in pretty blue ribbon. It sat on the chest in our bedroom and taunted me day and night. (Imagine a nine year old picky-eater who'd barely touched dinner lying in bed and staring at sweet cubes of sugar just a few feet away). One night, while she was on a date, I pulled one of the cubes from the back side of the corsage and ate it quietly in the dark. I waited the next day for her to scream and tell mama on me, but to my delight, she didn't seem to notice. So.... the next day, I ate another one. This went on for awhile and she never said a word! Finally the back of the corsage was nothing but ribbon loops, and the front had only a few cubes left. I had even gotten past the point of being worried - after all she hadn't said anything and it was obviously noticeable. Boy was I wrong! One afternoon as I sat on the bed reading, she came into our room, looked for something on the dresser, and for the first time saw the limp corsage lying there. A look of shock, then outrage came across her face as she spun around to face me. "My corsage!" she screamed. "What happened to my corsage? Did you do something to my sugar cubes?!!"

   "I ate some of them," I said. "I didn't think you'd care."

   "You ATE my sweet sixteen corsage?!" she shouted incredulously. "You ATE my corsage? 

Mom! Laura ate my corsage! It's ruined! There's nothing but ribbon left!" she cried, holding the sad-looking memento in her hands, as my mom hurried down the hall to our bedroom.

   After all of these years, I don't remember what happened next but I know it involved a scolding and a spanking, and I guess I deserved both. At the time though, I just couldn't understand why she would be so upset over a few cubes of sugar when our grandma had a box of them at her house. You would think I learned my lesson, but not long after, she got a sugar Easter Egg with a little scene inside and left it on our dresser, I couldn't help myself...I nibbled off the icing around the edges.

Needless to say, several years later when I got my own sweet sixteen corsage (and a little more self-control), I felt terrible about scarfing down her sentimental sweets. She never let me forget it either...that is until two years ago. I ran across one of those decorative eggs at Walmart and bought one for her. That Easter I presented it to her with an apology card and I think I finally earned her forgiveness! Now if I can only think of a way to make up for cutting the lock off her diary.....

(Sweet Sixteen Sugar Cube Corsage similar to my sisters)

....... to be continued

Fortunately, my sister and I are still close and get a good laugh out of our memories of growing up and sharing a room together. 

Here we are today... proof she still loves me. LOL

Hello everyone! My first blog site encountered a problem and for some strange reason, cannot be accessed anymore; so along with my new posts, I will be putting some of the old posts on this site also.

Here's one from a while back. :) 

Grandma's Elixir

Contrary to what my grandma believed, Vicks VapoRub is not really a cure-all. That's not to say it doesn't work for some things, but Grandma thought it was the answer to most any ailment

Cold and cough? You can bet it was rubbed on our chest

Stuffy nose? Just inhale that eucalyptus and camphor smell and put a dab in your nostrils and it will help you breathe easier. This one actually got me into some trouble at school one day. Fighting a cold, I had put a glop of it in a Kleenex to take to school. When my nose felt stuffy, I'd occasionally take it out and sniff the VapoRub . Unfortunately, Mr. Emerson, my 9th grade history teacher, didn't appreciate the magical properties of Vicks and made me throw it away and write sentences for interrupting the class. Of course, my friends and I had been pretending it was snot on the tissue in order to gross out the snobby girl that sat in front of me. 

Sore throat? Grandma told me many times to unscrew that green lid and get a little on my finger to swallow down. When I pointed out the warning on the label (which by the way says DO NOT USE IN THROAT OR MOUTH), she assured me that a little bit wouldn't hurt me; it would just make my throat numb and make me feel better. Thankfully there were times that I didn't follow her advice.

I saw her use it on her hand one day when she burned herself taking cornbread from the oven, and even overheard her telling my aunt that she'd used it on her hemorrhoids! Yes, Grandma would've been a great spokesperson for their company, because she sure believed in the power of that salve.  

I always got a chuckle out of how she kept that jar handy and how often she touted it's benefits, so imagine my surprise when a few years ago, I read something on the internet claiming that Vicks VapoRub could help cure nail fungus. My sister-in-law had just been complaining to me about my brother's toenails turning yellow because he'd gotten a fungus from spreading out mulch while barefoot. (Is this a gross blog post or what?!) Excited that maybe my grandma had been on to something after all, I called to share the remedy with her. Laughing, she interrupted me and said that they'd read the same thing and that he'd been rubbing it on his toenails every night for 3 weeks. "Is it working?" I asked hopefully. "No," she said, "but I sure can breathe good!"

For those of you interested, here are a few links showing the history and many uses of Vicks VapoRub:

http://www.ehow.com/way_5445453_vicks-vaporub-remedies.html 

http://www.mythirtyspot.com/2012/10/13-helpful-ways-to-use-vicks-vaporub.html

 

20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son

(and what fathers ought to be saying too! - * my addition)

1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don't take something away from her that you can't give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you're young because you're going to need it some day.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Pray and be a spiritual leader.

7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it's even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. "Yes ma'am" and "yes sir" still go a long way.

14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. Be patriotic.

18. Potty humor isn't the only thing that's humorous.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.

~Saw this on a friend's Facebook page,

Unknown author    ...perhaps Nino Rostomashvili ?

I'm not sure where this originated, but I saw some humor and alot of truth in this and I wanted to share. As the mother of two boys.. three, counting my stepson, I've always wished I knew exactly what to do and say to help them be successful in life. Parenting is hard work! Sometimes it's hard to know when to intervene and help or when to let them learn lessons the hard way. When is it best to be patient/ keep quiet and when is it best to discipline?

I guess as parents, we learn as we go,  hope we are doing a good job, and pray for guidance.

Right now my boys are at the age of leaving the nest and I feel the urge to impart some final bits of wisdom before they are off on their own. I want them to know they are loved unconditionally, but I may not always agree or approve of the choices they make. I want them to make good choices and have godly wisdom - not wisdom in the way of the world. I've tried to impress upon them that success isn't in having an important job or making lots of money. It isn't the ability to travel or pursue your own hobbies. It is found in living a life for God and in loving others. When asked what the two greatest commands were, Jesus replied, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b]  (Matthew 22:36-39) 

When we seek God's way first, the other things will follow. That's not a promise that you'll be rich or popular, or have everything you want, but you will be blessed and have the peace that only God can give. That is far more valuable than all the material things the world can offer.

So along with all the sentiments above ..and several more I could add...  :) .... . we as mothers need to get to the heart of the matter. Actually, even more than mothers, FATHERS, need to get the priorities in the right place and offer this kind of advice because boys tend to model the behavior and example of their dad. Move number 6 up on the list and make being a spiritual leader of highest importance. Most importantly, don't forget to lead by example.

If we teach our sons to live a life focused on loving God and others, then they will be like Jesus and grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man. (Luke 2:52) That is what I want for my sons. That to me, defines success.

THE OLD PORCH SWING

 

It was splintered, worn, and in need of white paint now and then, but always a place of comfort and familiarity. A place to sit and listen to Papaw tell stories while he rocked us back and forth and occasionally smoked a pipe. He was my daddy's dad and I loved him. He always seemed to have time for me and I knew he was happy to see us when we made the trip "home" as my Dad called it.  My feet dangled and didn't quite reach the wooden porch and sometimes I'd tuck them up underneath me and lean my head on his shoulder. The swing would groan and squeak a soothing rhythm as we swayed back and forth and we'd talk about everything under the sun. Why roosters crow......How many rabbits he'd got out of his box traps that morning....Why he wouldn't let Mamaw drive his car (she had tried once and had torn the car door completely off ) ... or how he'd found arrowheads in the cotton fields next to us when he was a kid. Sometimes he'd stop swinging and get up and go inside to get a cup of coffee. Most days, he had a bucket of water on the porch with a big dipper in it, and I'd take a drink from it when he offered, even though Mama always scolded me and told me not to drink after everyone. I can see him in my mind now, sitting in that swing and waving goodbye as we drove down the dirt road, headed home. To this day, when I think of Papaw, many of my memories involve that old porch swing and the time we spent there.

That swing was also the place that Mamaw sat to shell peas or peel potatoes for supper. She'd come out the screen door, barefoot and wearing an apron, with a bowl and knife in her hand. Fried potatoes were a staple around there (along with beans and cornbread) and when we saw her cutting up the potatoes, we'd stop playing long enough to try and grab a few out of the bowl to eat. She'd playfully swat at our hands and finally peel one for each of us to eat. We'd grab the salt and sit on the porch crunching raw potato while we talked. When she got up and went inside to cook, my cousins, my sister, my brother, and I would really get that old swing going. Of course, it wouldn't take long before one of the grown- ups would hear us laughing and yell out the window for us to stop swinging so high. They always said that one of us would get hurt or that the swing would break, but I don't remember it ever happening. Though I do seem to remember a few of us picking up a splinter or two.

In the evenings, the grown- ups would sit out on the porch - some in the swing and some in chairs around it. The men would smoke and they'd all laugh and talk about old times and people we didn't know while we chased lightning bugs and played hide and seek in the yard. When I got tired or when the mosquitoes got too bad, I'd crawl up in some one's lap on the swing and sway back and forth listening to the comforting sound of their conversation and the creaking of the swing as I drifted off to sleep. Many times, I woke up in bed the next morning, trying to remember how I'd gotten there.

When I was 10 years old, my papaw passed away and I remember how sad and lost Mamaw looked sitting in that swing alone. I remember the next visit too, when I sat in it alone and Daddy came out and swung with me awhile, never mentioning how he must miss Papaw too.

My aunt and uncle and cousins moved in with

Mamaw not long after that and the swing seemed to always be occupied. I still sat in it from time to time, but  my Aunt Janey and my little cousin, Derek were in it most of the time when we visited. He seemed to love it, and would take his pacifier out to smile at me, and then poke it back in saying something I couldn't understand. He was big for a "fooler" asd tried talking around it while he clenched it with his teeth much to my entertainment. I'm sure he was trying to tell me how much fun he was having in that swing.

An old porch swing. It's just an object, but one that is witness to the ups and downs of everyday living and the joys and sadness a family shares. It's a place for lovers, or children, or grandparents - for all generations and in all kinds of  circumstances. It's a place for making memories.

I wish I could sit in Mamaw and Papaw's front porch swing again.

**************

Here's the touching song I heard the other day that brought back many memories and inspired this post. If you have memories of your own porch swing, be sure and listen.

Old Porch Swing by Eddy Arnold

http://youtu.be/6ZY_iBRfn3U

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted
in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more
while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realising that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . .
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.” 

~ Erma Bombeck


I ran across this online today and wanted to share. I read this many years ago and it made quite an impression on me then... even more so now that I'm approaching the half-century mark. (Eek.. it looks just as bad in print as it sounds when I say it.)  :)

Life is short. Sometimes we forget the to take time to enjoy and appreciate the things right in front of
us and instead worry about things that really aren't important in the long run. I'm sure we could all add our own thoughts/regrets to this list, but the important thing is that each day is a new opportunity to get our focus on the things that count. There's a saying I often see that states "The important things in life aren't things."  How very true!

What's important is what we do with our life. Do we use it to glorify God and love others? Do we
really slow down and take time to appreciate each day as a gift from our creator? I know that my own outlook changed when I was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. Somehow, keeping my kitchen floor swept and mopped to a shine became a lot less important to me. Playing a game of RISK or Stratego with my kids and living in the moment were a lot more rewarding.

I took more time to watch and marvel at a sunrise or a sunset. I relished the beauty of it and saw with fresh eyes the way the grass sparkles in the morning dew. I listened intently to the beautiful songs of birds nearby. Buying a new item of clothing for myself seemed less necessary when I realized how temporary material things are and how many people out there have so little. I am much happier giving. No, I didn't become a saint. LOL But I did get a clearer view of what I value and I began to have a greater appreciation of all around me. Living and laughing with the ones I love became more important and my relationship with the Lord really blossomed. After all, when it gets down to it, who has loved me the most and done the most for me? Who am I going to be with when I breathe my very last breath?  Have I really confessed Jesus in my life and told others about the wonderful peace they can have with Him even in the most difficult situations?

When people say cancer changes you, they are right. I've heard some cancer survivors say that they wouldn't change things, even if they could, and until it happened to me, I didn't understand or believe that. But now, in a way, I'm grateful for that trial because it helped reinforce what is important in my life.

You don't have to go through a life-changing event to recognize these things though. You just
have to have a change of thinking. We only get one chance to live life. Don't go through on auto-pilot or not appreciating so many of the things around you. Spend more time enjoying things and especially the company of those important to you. Don't live your life self-involved and thinking only of your pleasure, but don't live it worrying about pleasing others either. Enjoy your life. It is a gift from God.  Psalm 118:24 says, "This is the day the Lord hath made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." That is what I choose to do no matter the circumstances around me. When we make up our mind to be content and when we seek Him first, blessings follow.

I guess the sign in my living room kind of sums it up for me:

Live a little, Laugh a little, Love a lot.

Words I try to live by. :)

Some people feel the rain.

Others just get wet.

Sing Like You Don't Need The Money,

Love Like You'll Never Get Hurt,

Dance Like Nobody's Watching

http://youtu.be/IMaQ1EjmGkk

 

ANOTHER SCHOOL SHOOTING?

WHAT IS GOING ON?

My heart is heavy this morning.  I just can't stop thinking about the shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut. Every time I see the picture of the children being led away in line and see the look of fear on their faces, my heart hurts for them. When I think of the parents who don't have their babies to hold this morning, I can't help but shed tears. 

 

Children are such a gift from God. What could possess anyone to go to a school and kill innocent children going about their daily routine? I'll never understand it! As a parent myself, I can only imagine the pain and heartache these parents are going through. As a teacher, I can't imagine the horror of this happening at my school. Why does this keep happening and what can we do about it?

At times like this, anger takes the front seat and gun control, school safety measures, and mental health care come to the forefront. Those are very important to discuss in the hope that some of these senseless tragedies can be prevented in the future. 

   But I think there are other things to consider as well. Guns have been around for a long time. In the 60's and 70's when I grew up, my dad's guns were easily accessible on the gun rack in my parent's room. Out of my reach, of course, but I could have gotten to them with a chair if I'd really wanted.  My preteen brother had a BB gun and a 22 rifle of his own in his room and it was the same way at most of my family and friend's houses. Driving around town, you were likely to see pick-up trucks with a gun racks and rifles clearly visible in the window. Guns were everywhere. Yet we never saw the rampages that are happening now. It has to be something more. Honestly, I think the real issue is not a gun control problem, but a heart control problem. 

Consider the changes made in the last few decades. We have taken God out of the schools and almost every aspect of society. We've become more permissive parents, focused on the happiness and self-esteem of our kids above discipline. We've overindulged them and given them more things and less time. We spend little time teaching our children godly morals and instead allow them to learn from violent television shows/ movies and even more violent video games. Did you know that the average child leaving elementary school has already witnessed 8,000 murders and over 100,000 other acts of violence on TV? By the time that child is 18, he/she will have witnessed 40,000 murders and 200,000 other acts of violence. (Huston, A.C. et al. Big World, Small Screen: The Role of Television in American Society. Lincoln, NE: University of Nebraska Press, 1992.) 

These figures were from a study done in 1992 and do not even include all of the violent video games which are much worse. 

To be sure, not all children who are exposed to violence become violent themselves, but it certainly increases the risk of aggressive behavior.  All of the above are things we as parents; teachers; adults in general; need to be thinking about when raising our children.

There is definitely something going on in our society and a lot of sadness and questions to go along with it. I don't pretend to have the answers. However, right now many people are thinking about these things and I just wanted to write down some of my own thoughts and maybe give others something to think about. I'm a christian so my beliefs are based on God's word, but they also come from experience and the studies/research that I've seen in my schooling. Children are a passion of mine and I've spent a lot of time around them as a parent, grandma, teacher, scout leader, and volunteer in many organizations for kids. I love doing this. Unfortunately, it has also made me realize that while there are many good parents, many others aren't doing a good job and our children, our society, and our country are suffering because of it. So here are some things I think parents need to can do to help.

1. Be aware and responsible for the things you expose your child to.  If you feed a child a lot of junk food, there is no doubt that he or she will become physically unhealthy. If you feed a child's mind a steady diet of violence, vulgar language, and video games that focus on killing/ hurting others in order to win... you can be sure that they will begin to develop an unhealthy mind. Music is also something that parents need to be monitoring. Much of the popular music today is shocking to me. Check your child's Ipod and phone. Look up the lyrics, and be picky about what they listen to.

2. Teach your child consideration and empathy for others. Many kids today have become so desensitized to the feelings and pain of others. They have heard and seen so much, they become dull to things that should shock them or produce a feeling of compassion. The media plays an important part in this. Shows like America's Funniest Videos are funny. But shows like World's Dumbest Videos, Scarred, and others project the idea that seeing others badly hurt is entertaining, hysterically funny, or cool. YouTube is full of stupid stunts, people fighting, and inappropriate pranks that are put on view for all to see. Children are young and impressionable and this can really affect how they view things. Limit their exposure to these kinds of things and be sure to talk with your kids about how others feel. Ask them questions to make them consider someone else's perspective. It should go without saying to teach them to show kindness to others and to reach out and include those who feel left out. The golden rule never gets outdated. Explain and most importantly, live it for them to see. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. 

3. Teach your child responsibility and accountability. Give your child chores and responsibilities so they understand that life is not a free ride and it doesn't revolve around them. Everyone needs to contribute to the world around them. Guide and discipline them even if it takes a lot of effort and you're exhausted from work. When they mess up, don't shield them from the consequences. Easier said than done... I know.... but true none-the-less.

4. Spend time with them. Turn off the TV. Close the laptop. Put away the smartphone. Do something together that doesn't involve electronics....find something that really involves interaction. Be there and in the moment together. It will build closeness, happy memories, and help them learn how to connect to you and others. It is amazing how much they (and you) can enjoy a game of cards, Monopoly, or a walk together. It's also a great time to listen. How are they feeling about things? Do they have friends at school? Children have a tendency to open up and talk when they are doing fun and relaxing things. 

5. Teach them about God. To do this, you have to know about Him yourself. I know. ..This is where some of you may stop reading, but a belief system that answers to a higher power and promotes loving others IS a benefit to society. When lines are blurred and there is no real sense of right and wrong, but only subjective opinion, there is bound to be a breakdown in society. A belief in God promotes the value of human life. Our creator knows what is best for us. When we recognize that and live by his guidelines, our lives will be better.

I am praying for the children of Sandy Hook Elementary School, the parents who are suffering, and for all of us. May God hold them in His arms and give them peace and comfort... protect our children... and guide all of us in raising them up right.