Thursday, April 21, 2016

Facing the Fear of Public Speaking  


 I enjoy writing stories about my childhood and anyone reading them might think that I - being the youngest child with a ready made audience - never got nervous at being the center of attention. This was somewhat true... in family situations.


See what I mean?

   Outside of my home /in public, however, it was a different story. I was a very quiet and shy little girl that hid behind my long hair and poncho. 


   I did well in school and had friends, but if forced to speak in front of the class, I turned into a bowl of jello. Book reports were a nightmare! It wasn't that I wasn't prepared; I usually did a good job on my assignments, but standing in front of the class while everyone looked at me and listened to my words made me queasy.  As I sat at my desk waiting for my turn, I'd feel sick to my stomach. When the teacher called my name, my heart would begin to pound and race inside my chest. Once I reached the front of the class, it was even worse. My face flushed and burned from embarrassment as I struggled to read the words from the paper that shook noticeably in my hands. It was such a sense of relief to get to the end of the report and make my way back to my seat. I'd take a few deep breaths and feel my heart slowly begin to return to normal. No matter how many times I did this, the sense of dread and nervousness came each and every time. I still battle it today.

   I don't know what it is about public speaking that makes so many of us so nervous. I think part of it is that we worry too much what other people think. I don't want to look stupid. I don't want to sound stupid. I want them to like me! If you suffer from any sense of low self-esteem, those fears are multiplied. The truth is, we are our own harshest critics and many times magnify our own flaws or mistakes when others barely notice them. 

   Over time, I have gradually gotten a little braver at speaking in front of others and thought I would share some of the things that have helped me. Actually, I'm writing this to remind myself of these things too because I cannot believe that I submitted a story to Listen To Your Mother. Even more, I can't believe that I was selected to audition my story and then invited to be a part of the cast! (Is that my heart I feel racing?!) 

   I am beyond excited to be a part of their production which gives moms all over the country a voice. I've never had the pleasure of being in the audience, but I have watched several of the speakers on YouTube and I'm honored to be able to tell my story at the St Louis production in May.
   Here's the glitch... I don't want to look stupid. I don't want to sound stupid. I want them to like me!   :-) 

   Seriously, I feel the nervousness creeping up, but I am psyching myself up for this neat opportunity! For those of you, who like me, still get butterflies in their stomach just thinking about speaking in front of an audience, here are some things I've read that can helpful.

1) Remember that the people in your audience are human just like you. As my grandma used to say,  "They put their pants on just like you do- one leg at a time."  If you make a mistake or stutter over a word, they aren't going to stone you. In fact, since many people get nervous at public speaking, they will probably smile understandably... if they even notice. 

2) Accept the fact that some will like your presentation, while some may not. Who cares? Do the best you can do and remember that's just how life is. As we all know, everyone is different and you can't please all the people all the time. Just be yourself and remember that what you have to say matters. Besides, unless someone forced them in the door, your audience is there because they really are interested in what you have to say. 

3) Try to think of it as a one on one conversation and not as a performance. I've found it helpful to focus on two or three people in the audience who seem to be involved. Looking out into a large room of faces as they look at you expectantly can feel very overwhelming, but when you think of it as speaking to a few individuals, it becomes less stressful.

4) Practice, practice, practice. Know your subject and become very familiar with your presentation. Read it out loud until it flows easily. Practice it in front of family members or friends. The more you know your material, the more confident you will feel.  

5)  Get a good nights sleep. Eat a healthy breakfast that morning even if you aren't hungry. Protein is best because carbs will give you a good burst of energy but then wear off quickly and you want to feel alert, not drained for your presentation.

Finally, to be quite honest and personal, there is one more thing I've found that helps boost my courage.

6) Look outside of yourself and your abilities for confidence. It took me fifty years and a very kind friend to help me realize that I can't base my worth on how I look, how I talk, or how well I do something. My self-worth cannot be determined by the opinion of others or the value that someone else places on me. My worth is found in God who created me to be unique and in who I am in Christ.

   I hope that these tips might be helpful for you. I'll let you know how they work for me!  :)  Two weeks until I take the stage for Listen To Your Mother!

 
 

Friday, April 1, 2016


APRIL FOOLS DAY FUN



It's that time of year again.. Spring has arrived and along with it, the national holiday for misbehaving. We have a lot of fun with it in our house, and I'll miss my boys this year. Jesse has his own apartment now and John is away at college so I won't feel the need to be looking over my shoulder, but I can't help thinking of some of our past April Fools Days and chuckling to myself.

For instance, two years ago I ran across a website dedicated to practical jokes and clicked it,  eagerly looking for the perfect prank to play on my sons.  Why, you might ask, would a loving mother want to do such a thing? 

  
1)      To pay them back for the MANY times I’ve been soaked by the spray nozzle at our kitchen sink because of a rubber band wrapped around the handle.




2)      Because they loved to sneak up behind me on a daily basis and shout or whisper some seemingly innocent phrase that made me jump, scream, and sometimes throw things in the air.
(Not to mention the times they waited just outside the bathroom door or hid in the dark laundry room to scare me when I came in from the garage).


3) Because they turn into comediennes each time I attempt to take a picture of OR with them.
See photo below.



4)    Finally, because they found it hysterical to place a life size cardboard cut-out of a storm trooper all around our house- particularly right behind doors, in order to startle me senseless.
It worked.
So did finding it behind the shower curtain, in the laundry room, and the many other unexpected places it appeared.



 Unfortunately, I have to admit, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. I've always enjoyed a good practical joke so I was thrilled to find the website with so many great ideas. Some I'd seen before...like putting plastic wrap underneath the seat of the toilet, but really, who wants to clean up that mess?  A little baby powder in the blow-dryer? Funny, but another potential mess and who knew if they'd even use it that day? 
  When I saw that someone had suggested scraping off some of the icing in the center of Oreo cookies and replacing it with toothpaste, I knew I’d found the one.  





We even had some already in the pantry! It went off without a hitch and I got to enjoy the astonished look on their faces when they tasted the cookies I lovingly offered them after school. 

Yep, love is the glue that binds a family together… even the sadistic kind of love that fills our home with laughter - particularly on April Fool’s Day.  I've always heard that laughter is the best medicine and if it's true, then I'll take a double dose because I wouldn't trade these memories for anything.

  The page I used has expired, but if you’re looking for a good prank or practical joke to play yourself, here are a couple of links to get you started. 






You can find many more with just a quick google search, but hurry, time's almost up! :)